Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the wastepaper basket under the table and notice that it is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the postbox when I take out the rubbish, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheque book but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control that someone left on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when I go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table. I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor so, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The garden isn't watered

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

The bin needs emptying

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only one cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote contol,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

And I'll try to get some help for it,

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!